Sex on the beach is always glorified in the movies but it isn’t really all that practical in real life. The movies provide that image of the two stars entwined in each other’s arms in the sand as light waves break on the shore gently rolling up to their feet. They roll around ever so tenderly yet succumbing to the overwhelming passion of the moment. Ah, if only it could be so pleasant.
Sand gets everywhere
no orifice is safe
each crack infected
They don’t tell you about the ubiquity of sand. It will get anywhere and everywhere and it will cause chafing. I doubt it’s pleasant for a woman if the sand gets into her vagina. I can attest that it is excruciating if the sand gets in your pee-hole. You don’t need to know Latin or be a scientist to know that urethal meatus and sand don’t mix.
Yeah, delude yourself into thinking a blanket or beach towel will protect you from intrusive sand. It’s getting everywhere. Wet or dry, it is getting anywhere and everywhere. It’ll even be in your knickers when you get dressed to go home. You might even discover some new orifices on your body.
Get a motel
or a space in the woods
avoid the sand
avoid the pain of chafing
you’ll feel better later
No one ever lamented the chafing that never happened. Don’t trust all the Hollywood elite with all their brazen lies. Sex on the beach is rather unpleasant. There’s no romance to scratching up your arms and legs and getting sand in your anus.
Chafing really sucks
Hollywood lies unneeded
Live life freely
but keep the sand far away
keep your knickers clean
https://www.postpoems.org/authors/georgeschaefer/prose/1108533
bathroomgraffiti 