THIS AIN’T MY FATHER’S WRESTLING

All kinds of thoughts

enter my mind

as I watch ECW wrestling

on a Saturday night

and it gets scary

that home I’m at again

without prospects

for a better gig

while everyone else

enjoys the holiday weekend

down the shore

I get high alone

listening to various music

from around the country

and all over the world

my discourse on production

has been laughed off the shelves

by the general public

seems I’ve fooled

just about nobody

and the quest

of adventure and excitement

is off line again

well, I’ll be out

at the arena again

hopefully real soon

and the production

of new work continues

to run smoothly

into the summer

hashish has its charm

as Turkish assassins

pay visit

on my consciousness

and the awareness

of my surroundings

hones in

on the announcer

making the call

this could be nothing

but the doctrines

are ignored

by the peoples

blood, sweet and beers

is enough inspiration

for the evening

and will lead us

into temptation

but obligations

are limited

and wholly warranted

the feverish intensity

of the matches

the fire ignited

in my consciousness

It’s out of control

and this ain’t

my father’s wrestling

any more than

it’s my mother’s poetry

the crowd chants obscenities

at the wrestlers

they like and dislike

in equal proportion

I sit and watch

as the drama unfolds

and this is where I am

after all these years

but at least a few weeks

promise more

and I take serious solace

at least at that

5-23-98

THIS AIN’T MY FATHER’S WRESTLING | PostPoems

ASSHOLES AND BITCHES NEED NOT APPLY

As I waltz through my life

whiling away hours, weeks,

years & even decades

I never found a shortage

of certain undesirable sorts.

There seems to be

an asshole lurking

under every rock

& a bitch to be found

around any old corner.

The cretins aren’t coming.

They’re already here

They appear out of the mist

when you least expect them

always willing to lend a hurting hand.

There’s no longer any surprise

in finding someone new

only to learn they are not dependable.

You’re only an afterthought

they never truly care for.

As I get older

I find I have fewer friends

and more casual acquaintances

and that’s very much by design

as I try to keep my life real.

I’d rather be surrounded

by those relatively special few

that I know I can count on

than have thousands of false friends

valued at a dime a dozen.

ASSHOLES AND BITCHES NEED NOT APPLY | PostPoems

JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT IT WAS SAFE TO DO POETRY AGAIN: Schaefer, George: 9798449725561: Amazon.com: Books

TARGET AUDIENCE

Am I the only person a bit befuddled at the target audience for Blue Chew or other ED products?  These commercials mostly seem to target younger men who probably shouldn’t be having issues with ED just yet.   Balding middle aged men should be the clientele.  They’ve been through the wars and the testosterone just ain’t manufacturing like it used to.  What’s going on with young men these days?  If you’re in your 20s or even 30s, a gentle wisp of wind should elicit wood.  Can’t get why they would be needing an assist so soon.

Way too young ladies
I’m the target audience
but not that naive
These young boys are way too soft
in more ways than you would think 

TARGET AUDIENCE | PostPoems

COMPLIMENTARY EYE GOUGE

You know it’s best

to dine before heading

off to the airport

Hunger pangs don’t mesh well

with the ennui

of a 2 hour delay

and you end up

in an overpriced airport bar

The beer will burn

a hole in junior’s college fund

and even the value items

are hardly that

You get a burger

to tide you over
for a 6 hour flight

and it will be decent

but never great

You ask for hot sauce

instead of ketchup

and it will be a generic brand

but the eye gouge is gratis

at least I always feel

like I’ve been gouged

COMPLIMENTARY EYE GOUGE | PostPoems

THE DRUNKENING: Schaefer, George: 9798830869256: Amazon.com: Books

MEMPHIS MINNIE

I kicked his ass

after he told me he never

heard of Memphis Minnie

I abhor violence

and yet still I must insist

it was the right thing to do.

In truth, it was a verbal asskicking but much deserved. A person at a blues festival bragging on how much he knows about the blues really oughta know who Memphis Minnie was.

MEMPHIS MINNIE | PostPoems

DELIGHTFULLY WEIRD: Not So Fancy Tanshi Vol. 1: Schaefer, George F: 9798808523722: Amazon.com: Books

SLIGHTLY LESS OFFENSIVE

and so then

I pulled

the old pour

a 24 oz. Blue Point toasted lager

from Patchogue, NY

into a 24 oz. XL Dunkin’Donut

Styrofoam cup

so I could conceal

my transgression

I could sit on the train

and sneak sips

while creating the illusion

of drinking coffee

any environmentalist will tell you

Styrofoam is evil

and not biodegradable

and I can’t argue that point

but at least I found a way

to make it slightly less offensive

and inspire warped verse

to corrupt our youth

SLIGHTLY LESS OFFENSIVE | PostPoems