ASSHOLES AND BITCHES NEED NOT APPLY

As I waltz through my life

whiling away hours, weeks,

years & even decades

I never found a shortage

of certain undesirable sorts.

There seems to be 

an asshole lurking

under every rock

& a bitch to be found

around any old corner.

The cretins aren’t coming.

They’re already here

They appear out of the mist

when you least expect them

always willing to lend a hurting hand.

There’s no longer any surprise

in finding someone new

only to learn they are not dependable.

You’re only an afterthought

they never truly care for.

As I get older

I find I have fewer friends

and more casual acquaintances

and that’s very much by design

as I try to keep my life real.

I’d rather be surrounded

by those relatively special few

that I know I can count on

than have thousands of false friends

valued at a dime a dozen.

ASSHOLES AND BITCHES NEED NOT APPLY | PostPoems

51%

There was little, if any, Constitutional validity to the lawsuit.  It really reflects a bleak existential reality that conservatives and republicans are facing.  The Democrat candidate has won the popular vote in 6 of the last 7 presidential elections.  The Democrat candidate has now won the popular vote in 4 straight presidential elections.  Biden and Obama (twice) got more than 51% of the vote.  Hillary Clinton only got 48% of the vote.  None of the Republican candidates reached 48% in the last 4 presidential elections.  Mitt Romney was the only Republican candidate to get over 47% of the popular vote.

(Ironically, the 45.9% trump got in 2016 was the lowest percentage of any of the presidential candidates in the last 4 presidential elections.)

This is where the sense of desperation comes into play.  Most polls also show that Republicans have a higher average age than Democrats and Independents.  This means that they are not being replenished as quickly as the years go passing by.

2008 did mark a substantial moment in American history.  It was the first presidential election to include voters that weren’t alive before the Berlin Wall fell.  2020 marked the first presidential election to include voters that weren’t alive for the 9-11 attack.  This will reflect changing priorities.  That isn’t necessarily bad.  The world is always going to change.  It is always going to progress and evolve.

This is where a sense of desperation is coming in.  People clinging to the past are scared of the future.  A lot of people are scared of the present.  Desperate measures are being taken or proposed in order to stop the world from changing.  It, in some ways, is a last ditch effort.  I don’t think these are necessarily evil people.  There were Americans that sided with the British in the War of 1812.  They weren’t necessarily horrible people.  They were on the wrong side of history.  There were people that refused to use electricity or refused to use a telephone or automobile when these inventions were introduced.  People are afraid of change.  They will resist it and sadly, some may never come around.

We need to stay vigilant and do what we can to make the world a better place.  Many afraid of change will come around.  We should be doing what we can to encourage and educate people.  You can’t reach a klansman or a proud boy but a lot of other people are simply clinging to a nostalgia for something that, if it ever did exist, is now long gone.  Many will just go back to their lives and realize that not much has really changed.  They’re going to get by—and maybe get by with a little less vitriol.  They will change at a snail’s pace but eventually they just may get it.

51% | PostPoems

Cobblestone Trampling Along City Walls

When I found out I was going to Europe again, I wanted to visit some places I had never been before. I also wanted to find more affordable places to help compensate for the atrocious exchange rate we currently have. That turned my eyes toward Eastern Europe. I figured I could find more favorable financial conditions there.

 I was always curious about the Baltic nations: Estonia, Latvia and Lithuania. I figured I would look into that. I discovered Europebyair.com in my research. They specialize in $99 one way flights throughout Europe. I would be able to fly from Amsterdam to Tallinn for $99. Then I could fly from Vilnius back to Amsterdam later also for $99.

 That settled it. I was going to Tallinn. This is hardly one of the more famous cities in the world although it is listed by UNESCO as a world heritage site as a medieval town. I was really pumped up for the trip. I read that Tallinn was regarded as the new Prague. That sounded good to me. My love affair with Prague is scheduled to be rekindled next year. For now, I had to settle for a beautiful new Old City.

I arrived in Tallinn early afternoon. It took a few moments to get oriented in the airport. A bus ride drops off passengers in the Center of town. This bus stop is near a mall and a casino but is not the main international bus station. Eventually, I found that I was a mere five minute walk from Old Town. Stumbling into the Old Town was a pure joy. This medieval town is one of the best preserved old towns I have ever seen. I went through what at one time must have been the gates to the town. The buildings were gorgeous.

It was a trifle cool but I followed a map to the old town and found a tourist office. They directed us to a hostel right in the old town. There was a strip club a floor above the hostel. I knew right then that it was going to be an interesting city. The people at the hostel spoke pretty good English which was a nice benefit.

After getting settled in, it was time to start exploring the town. The hostel was located right around the town from the Old Town Square(Raekoja Plats.) One can dine at a nice Indian restaurant on the town square. I guess not all things have been preserved. I found the Beer House rather easily. It was located on a small street (Dunkri) right off the Square. This was one of my destinations for the Tallinn visit. The Beer House is styled after a German beer hall but it also features two night clubs on the upper floors.

 One can easily just saunter around exploring the Old Town. It is not really all that big. It is very cool that much of the original town wall is still there. I read that you can arrange to take a walk on top of the wall. Early Spring you still have a lot of thawing so it would have been a slushy if not slippery proposition for me. One can venture up to Toompea.

 The parliament building is up there. This is the old Toompea Castle. There is also a nice courtyard to check out. You can also get a wonderful view of the lower town. It is breathtaking to look down on these old medieval buildings. The St Alexander Nevsky Cathedral is also up on Toompea. It is a breathtakingly beautiful cathedral. There are numerous beautiful old cathedrals in Tallinn. Many of them are well maintained and very inspiring. I usually check out a few cathedrals in every major European city.

 Several of the towers are also still standing. The City Museum was once a merchant’s home in medieval times. The Maritime Museum is in an ancient building at the Pik Gate of the Old Town. This also provides an exit out toward the train station or port. There are several islands off of Tallinn but time did not permit further exploration. That is something for a future trip.

 There are also some wonderful restaurants. I ate at a restaurant called Olde Hansa. This restaurant is in a 15th Century building and features what is billed as an authentic Hanseatic menu. The interior is designed like the inside of a wealthy merchant’s home. The wait staff is garbed in medieval costume and the menu features game and their own specially brewed beers. The honey beer tasted like it included cinnamon in the recipe. I had a platter that included sausages from beer, elk and wild boar. This is a bit of a tourist trap but it’s an impressive and centrally located place. The menu is printed in six different languages. English is one of them if you need ask.

 One of the drawbacks of Tallinn is that the transportation is a bit spread out. The International bus station is about a 25 minute walk from Old Town. The Port is also outside the Old Town but considerably closer. About 5 or 10 minutes walk from the port is the train station. Behind the train station is a section of wooden houses (Kalamaja). This is a pretty interesting section to walk through. Some of the homes are interesting to check out. There are a lot of these homes showing signs of age but others have been wonderfully maintained. It shows a side of the culture you won’t get in the touristy old town. I stopped in a bar here. It was the proverbial other side of the tracks as they didn’t speak English. I still managed to negotiate a couple beers and it was cheaper than the pubs in the Old Town.

The port has several ferry and shipping lines. It is a three hour ride to Helsinki. It cost the equivalent of $30 for a round trip ferry to Helsinki. The Viking Line has a great ship. The ship includes several restaurants, pubs and casinos. It is a downright civilized experience. There is also an indoor flea market near the port. Here, you can find souvenirs, clothes or other necessities. It was interesting to check the place out.

 The night life in Tallinn can be pretty intense. There are plenty of pubs to choose from. You can find a nice selection of native brews as well as a few good English pub. The local beers will be considerably cheaper than a Guinness or other English style. I became quite partial to the beers from Saku Brewery.

 On Fridays and Saturdays, the bars are open till three or four in the morning. There are also many strip clubs for those who want to gawk at lovely Eastern European women. It was really not all that different from clubs in America. There are a couple clubs that feature full nudity. Prostitution is illegal and tourists are adviced to be wary of sexual solicitation at strip clubs and on the street.

 There is a bit of hostility towards Russians. Baltic natives have not readily forgotten the Occupation. I didn’t see any open acts of aggression though. The Estonians also like their booze. They sell beer almost everywhere. It is also cheap. It was interesting when I sailed to Helsinki to see Finns crating loads of booze back home from Tallinn. I think Finnish appetite for cheap booze keeps the Estonian economy running.

 Overall, Tallinn was a wonderful city. The Old Town is absolutely gorgeous. The rest of the city is interesting and in a rebuilding process. I imagine that it will be commercialized in the coming years. This is probably a good time to go. There is still much purity and the costs are still relatively low. The people are wonderful and it is a comfortable place to just saunter about and absorb the history and beauty.

COBBLESTONE TRAMPLING ALONG CITY WALLS | PostPoems

TURN DOWN THE AVENUE | PostPoems

Other Side of the Skype Call

It can be disconcerting having to conduct business with skype.  I get on a skype call with a couple co-workers to provide some on job instruction.  I have a dog that likes to contribute his thoughts throughout the session.  Another person has a baby that has a lot to cry.  The worst is the person talking to me with a Mr. Softee truck outside their window droning its recurring song.  All I could think about after that was how good a banana boat special would be right about now.  I’d be running out the door and pushing children out the way if it was outside my own window.  I really want a cold treat.

Mr. Softee truck

Droning its carnival song

Sundae etched on mind

OTHER SIDE OF A SKYPE CALL | PostPoems

HALF ASS KEROUAC SIPPING ABSINTHE | PostPoems

MONGOLIAN HU

It pops up on my cellphone: package delivered.  I go running down to the mailroom to receive my goods.  I find my package on the floor near the mailboxes.  I guess UPS doesn’t have the key to my mailbox.

There is a teenage girl sitting Indian style on the floor chatting away on her cellphone.  Apparently there’s some serious shit going on in her love life.  She is completely oblivious to my package laying on the floor and barely even acknowledges my presence.  I take a quick gander at the name on the package to make sure it is mine. 

I’m thinking that if this young lady was a fan of Mongolian rock music, she could have made off with my package.  She squandered a golden opportunity to expand her musical palette—which I suppose is good for me.

Now I can listen to the Hu and enjoy the primal sounds.  I don’t know if I want to ride a horse through Asian steppes or just crack open a beer.  I don’t have a horse or the funds for a flight to Ulaan Baatar but I do have plenty of beer in the fridge.  The decision is made for me.  It’s all coming together.  I feel inspired listening to something new and different. 

I think back to the young lady in the mailroom.  I’m really grateful she had no interest in pinching my CD.  I’m really hoping that she can work things out with Bobby.  I’d go back and give her some advice but my advice probably isn’t worth shit.  I may never know how that relationship works out—and it might be awkward if I ask her about the next time we meet.  I turn my attention back to the music.  A song reminds me a bit of AC/DC.  I pour the beer into a Viking mug purchased in Iceland.  It may be a decent day after all.

MONGOLIAN HU | PostPoems

MUGWUMPS WITH DREADLOCKS

Mugwumps with dreadlocks

hallucinations persist

as we resist the con

William Burroughs birthday is immediately followed by Bob Marley’s birthday—every year.  This pleases me.  We can get our twisted cut ups with some soothing reggae lilts.  Mugwumps with dreadlocks bobbing along to Three Little Birds.  My words of advice for young people is to relent.  Resistance is futile, anyway.  Just let the phantasmagoric vision wash over your soul.  The Buffalo Soldiers and hustlers of the world will ultimately still succumb to the mark within.  The virus will spread but we’ll have our literary dreams complete with Rasta soundtrack.  The mugwumps dancing with natty dreads swirling to the rhythm.  A just ending to a rainy evening nightmare.

Your point of view heard

my arbitrary justice

couldn’t solve problems

Emancipation eludes

flights of imagination

https://www.postpoems.org/authors/georgeschaefer/prose/1083958

DOG’S ARCH NEMESIS | PostPoems