RUN IN MY PANTY HOSE

It’s fairly well known that a lot of football players used to wear panty hose underneath their uniforms in colder weather.  Joe Namath and the Oakland Raiders were well known offenders. Several magazines felt the need to sensationalize the issue.   It made perfect sense to do so in spite the insecurities and biases of many homophobic football fans.  The sheer nature of the fabric provided warmth without being bulky or obtrusive.  I sometimes wore panty hose under my football uniform when I was young.  It was helpful to performance.  The panty hose barely showed so people generally wouldn’t notice if you were wearing them.  You really only had a small area of the calf between the sock and the shin guards.  Of course, I always dreaded that that would be the precise area where I got a run.  I have hairy legs poking through and causing problems.  You know if a run is visible someone is going to notice.  Alert the social pages, we have a major breech of protocol.  The embarrassment was always hard to live down when it happened.

Try to hide snafu

a run in my panty hose

endless shame we face

https://www.postpoems.org/authors/georgeschaefer/prose/1102833

Cannibalized Haibun: Schaefer, George: 9798416456573: Amazon.com: Books

Published by fuchebuyahoocom

poet, philosopher and comic. Philadelphia born but suburban bred.

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